Wednesday, November 09, 2005

College fun, part III of III

A bit of juvenile humour. Here's the final part of how to have fun annoying your roommate. I haven't had a chance to try any of the activities in this instalment, but as soon as I move back out of my parents home I hope I'll be brave enough to give a couple of them a go. If you have, what did you do and what was the reaction?

The previous two entries can be found here and here. Please leave comments!


  1. Borrow your roommate's clothes. Offer to wash them, then act like they were yours all along.
  2. Refer to yourself in the royal third person.
  3. Name your books. Call them like dogs when it's time to study.
  4. Put peas in the toilet every time you go to the bathroom.
  5. Ask your roommate to pose for a portrait. Leave.
  6. Never allow your roommate's head to be below yours.
  7. Repeat everything your roommate says, but without the consonants.
  8. Administer last rites as s/he sleeps.
  9. Whenever s/he has friends over, complain loudly about his/her hygiene. Be graphic.
  10. Lie spread-eagled on your roommate's bed. Make him/her move you.
  11. Call him/her Mummy.
  12. Stand behind him/her while he brushes his teeth. When s/he takes the brush out of his/her mouth, force it back in.
  13. Announce everything you do as a group activity. (i.e. "We're going to bed now.") If your roommate fails to do whatever you said, accuse him/her of not being a "team player".
  14. Spell out the last word of each sentence you say to your roommate.
  15. Announce on the answering machine that your roommate has moved out. Tell anyone who calls for him/her not to call here anymore.
  16. When your roommate is out of the room, move his/her possessions over to your side of the room. When s/he returns, throw the things back over to your roommate's side, angrily telling him/her, "Stop invading my space."
  17. Read your textbooks aloud. Ask your roommate for help on big words.
  18. And at Christmas time...
  19. Go to the mall with your roommate and sit on Father Christmas's lap. Refuse to get off.
  20. Make conversation out of Christmas Carols. (i.e. "You know, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night.")
  21. Sing: "All I want for Christmas is my roommate's two front teeth..."
  22. Tear down all your roommate's Christmas decorations yelling "Bah Humbug!"
  23. Wake up every morning screaming "Ghost of Christmas Future, please have mercy on my soul!"
  24. Put on a fake white beard and insist that all your roommate's friends "give it a yank".
  25. Ring jingle bells maniacally saying, "Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings".
  26. Watch your roommate when s/he is sleeping. When s/he wakes up sing, "He sees you when you're sleeping..."
  27. Intensely study the complete list of ways to annoy your roommate. Form a discussion group with other friends. Give tests.

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