College fun, part II of III

Here are some more tips to have fun whilst annoying your roommate. Let me know what happens if you dare to try any of them!

30. Invite a homeless person to live in your room and sleep in your roommate's bed.
31. Get a friend to leave a phone message for you with your roommate, saying the test results came back positive. When your roommate tells you, cough, faint, and then refuse to discuss it.
32. Laugh a lot in the morning. Tell your roommate to be happy all the time.
33. Set your alarm clock for three o'clock. Push the doze button every 5 minutes when it beeps for the next five hours, each time telling your roommate that you'll wake up in five minutes.
34. Learn the words to all your roommate's favourite songs. Sing along.
35. Learn a lot of quotations. Whenever you talk to your roommate, say nothing but quotes for three weeks.
36. When your roommate is typing, type on your keyboard in synchronization.
37. Order five anchovy pizzas in your roommate's name. When the deliverer arrives, tell them that your roommate likes to play jokes on the pizza place and then your roommate lies about his/her ordering. Tell them where s/he is.
38. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
39. Set up meetings with your roommate's faculty advisor. Inquire about his/her academic potential. Take lots of notes, and then give your roommate a full report. Insist that s/he do the same.
40. Every Thursday, pack up everything you own and tell your roommate you're going home. Come back in an hour and explain that no one was home. Unpack everything and go to sleep.
41. Bring in potential "new" roommates from around campus. Give them tours of the room and the building. Have them ask about your roommate in front of him/her, and reply, "Oh, him/her? S/he won't be here much longer."
42. Live in the hallway for a month. Afterwards, bring all of your stuff back into the room and tell your roommate, "Okay, your turn."
43. Bowl inside the room. Set up tournaments with other people in the building. Award someone a trophy. If your roommate wants to bowl too, explain that s/he needs bowling shoes.
44. Send flowers to your roommate, with a card that says, "I'm sorry. It won't happen again." When you see them, start ripping up the flowers. Repeat the process for a few weeks.
45. Call your roommate "Clyde" by accident. Start doing so every so often. Increase the frequency over the next few weeks, until you are calling him/her "Clyde" all the time. If your roommate protests, say, "I'm sorry. I won't do that anymore, Murray."
46. Challenge your roommate to a duel. If s/he refuses, claim that you have won by forfeit and therefore conquered his/her side of the room. Insist that s/he remove all of his/her possessions immediately.
47. Read the phone book out loud and excitedly. ("Frank Johnson! Oh, wow! 020 7494 5694! Holy cow!")
48. Put up flyers around the building, reporting that your roommate is missing. Offer a reward for his/her safe return.
49. Hold a raffle, offering your roommate as first prize. If s/he protests, tell him/her that it's all for charity.
50. Late at night, start conversations that begin with, "Remember the good old days, when we used to..." and make up stories involving you and your roommate.
51. Sit and stare at your roommate for hours. Bring others in to join you. Eat peanuts, throwing a few at your roommate. Then say, "Boy, these zoos just aren't what they used to be."
52. Make brown-bag lunches for your roommate every morning. Give them to him/her before s/he goes to class.
53. Every time the phone rings, turn on the stereo at full volume and begin to violently slam-dance with your roommate. If s/he asks about it, say, "Oh, that damn hypnotist...."
54. Insist that your roommate sing the National Anthem with you every morning.
55. Walk, talk, and dress like a cowboy at all times. If your roommate inquires, tell him/her, "Don't worry, little buckaroo. You'll be safe with me."
56. Buy a copy of Massacre at Midnight or Silence of the Lambs or any equally gruesomely titled book. Sit in a room with your roommate and read the book (or pretend to) with a highlighter mumbling, "That looks good..." as you highlight passages in the book.
57. Invite your roommate to sleep over.
58. When you leave the room, put on a screensaver that says, "I'm watching you."