A husband
decides to leave his wife. He’s often complained loudly that theirs was never a
good relationship anyway.
‘I pay in way
too much into our joint bank account,’ he shouts, ‘and she’s so controlling!
Telling me what I can and can’t do with my life’.
‘Like what?’, a
friend asks.
‘She says I need
to view her friends as equals and we should share our talents and ideas so we
can be healthier and aspire to be the best we can be. Can you believe it? Sure
I’ve learnt more about how the world works and discovered lot of new ways of
thinking about science and nature, art and culture (and I’ve even made good
money over the last 40 years!) but I’ve changed beyond recognition. I mean just
look at all these new spots on my face! And when I lost my factory job soon
after we got married and the bosses told me they couldn’t and wouldn’t find me
new work she didn’t even retrain me!’ She just said ‘Well then, we need to find
something else productive to do’.'
‘But if it was
important to you why didn’t you do more about it?’
‘It didn’t
matter so much once I started our business and that started going well. But a
big part of me feels a bit left behind and neglected. She should have done
something about that. She had the chance. I’ve paid in lots of money into our
joint bank account remember?’
‘Didn’t you buy
a house together with that money?’
‘Yes, but I paid
for the furniture all by myself. And just look at all these spots on my face! I
miss my youth, when I used to live like a bachelor and could visit girls from
all over the world. I want to take back control of my life. I want to stop
having to listen to my wife’s Kraftwerk albums every Sunday!’
‘So what happens
now?’
‘I don’t know.
To be honest, I haven’t really thought much about that. The most important
thing is to have made the decision. She says it’s sad but if that’s the way I
feel then we should finalise the divorce as soon as practical so we can both
move on and just be good neighbours. But get this, my lawyer says that it
doesn’t have to be this way for me. He says that I can stop paying but still
visit her whenever I like and even go to the cinema and have meals (at her
place) when I want to. I’ve said some pretty hurtful and untrue things in the
course of all this (she did too!) and I do regret a few of them but I know she
doesn’t really mean what she says about the terms of the separation – she still
needs me!’
‘So you’ll work
something out?’
‘If she agrees
with me then sure. In the meantime, I’m off to check out my old flames. I know
they’ll be overjoyed to see me again - I've neglected them long enough!‘
‘And the
grandchildren?’
‘They need to
stop crying. It will really be ok in the end. Trust me.’
